How to Practice Sexual Polarity as a Couple

Sexual polarity requires one partner embodying Alpha — directive, grounded, penetrative presence — while the other embodies Omega — receptive, expressive, magnetic opening. The difference between these two orientations creates charge. That charge is the fire.

The practice is simpler than most people expect. You choose who's leading and who's yielding. You drop into your bodies. And you use breath, voice, gaze, and touch to amplify the difference between you until the charge becomes physical.

Londin and I practice these exercises together — not as a demonstration, but as the way we maintain fire across 16 years, a daughter, and a shared business. Most nights we have 10 to 15 minutes after bedtime. That's enough. These are the practices we actually use when we're exhausted and need to reconnect fast.

We teach these through our Yoga of Intimacy community on Patreon, through private coaching, and in depth in our books — including Playing With Fire and our upcoming The Fire Between Us: The 7 Scales of Sexual Desire, which maps polarity across seven dimensions from body to spirit.

Before You Begin Sexual Polarity Practice: Embodiment First

You can't create polarity from your head. If you're strategizing, planning, or performing, your partner will feel it — and the charge will flatline.

Before any practice, take 60 seconds to land. Three deep breaths. Feel your feet on the floor, your body in space. Make eye contact with your partner — not a loaded gaze, just seeing each other as you are right now. Then choose: who orients Alpha tonight, who orients Omega? Name it out loud. The clarity of that choice is where polarity begins.

Four Core Practices

Practice 1: Directive + Receptive Breath

Scale: Breath (the third of the 7 Scales)

Sit facing each other, knees touching if possible. The Alpha partner breathes deep into the belly and exhales directionally — down through the body, out toward

Omega, as if the breath itself is penetrating the space between you. The Omega partner breathes up the spine, letting each inhale open the heart and each exhale soften the body further.

Alpha's breath moves outward. Omega's breath receives. One pushes, one opens. The difference creates charge — often within the first two or three minutes.

The key for Alpha: don't hold your breath or try to control it. Keep it full and continuous. The key for Omega: don't force the opening. Let your body soften at its own pace. If Alpha is truly present, your body will respond.

Five minutes of this is enough to shift from disconnected to charged. It's the simplest entry point and the practice we come back to more than any other.

"This is our baseline. Some nights it's all we have — five minutes of breathing facing each other on the bed. I breathe toward her. She breathes and opens. No words. By minute three, something shifts. The day falls away. By minute five, we're either making love or lying in each other's arms. Either way, we're connected. That's the whole point." — Justin Patrick Pierce

Practice 2: Command + Response (Voice)

Scale: Voice (the fifth of the 7 Scales)

Alpha leads with direct commands spoken from the body — not from strategy, not from a script, but from genuine desire. "Close your eyes." "Breathe deeper." "Show me your heart." "Open for me." Your voice should carry the full weight of what you want.

Omega responds — with words ("Yes," "More," "Please"), with breath, with sound, with the body moving. The response doesn't need to be verbal. A moan, a softening, a shift in breathing — all of it is Omega answering Alpha's presence.

If Omega isn't responding, Alpha isn't fully embodied. Go deeper. Breathe. Speak from your belly, not your throat. And if Omega is holding back, that's usually control disguised as shyness. Let your body show your partner what their presence does to you. That response is the practice.

Practice 3: Eye Contact

Scale: Body (the first of the 7 Scales)

Sit or lie facing each other. Alpha looks into Omega's left eye — steady, unwavering, seeing without judgment. Omega receives that gaze and lets the face show whatever is real — tenderness, fear, sadness, desire, everything. No performing. No editing.

The practice is deceptively simple: just look at each other. But most people can't sustain genuine eye contact for more than a few seconds without looking away, laughing, or retreating into their heads. Stay with it. When you want to break away, breathe instead. Let your partner see you.

This is often where the deepest intimacy lives — not in technique but in the willingness to be fully visible to another person.

"After all these years, eye contact is still the most powerful practice we have. When Justin holds my gaze and doesn't leave — even when I'm showing him something messy or scared or raw — I feel completely seen. That's when my heart opens. Not because he does something. Because he stays." — Londin Angel Winters

Practice 4: Warmer / Cooler (Touch + Feedback)

Scale: Body + Sex (the first two of the 7 Scales)

Alpha touches Omega — hand on heart, stroking hair, kissing neck, whatever feels right. Omega gives real-time feedback from the body: "Warmer" if the touch is creating opening, "Cooler" if it's closing them down. Alpha adjusts and keeps going.

This practice teaches two things at once. Omega learns to give feedback from sensation rather than thought — not "I think you should…" but "my body is opening" or "my body is closing." Alpha learns to receive feedback without collapsing into shame. "Cooler" isn't rejection. It's guidance. It's your partner teaching you how to open them in this exact moment.

This is especially powerful when reconnecting after disconnection or when navigating mismatched desire. It builds real-time attunement — the skill of reading your partner's body and adjusting in the moment.

Common Mistakes

Both partners in Alpha. Both trying to lead, neither willing to yield. The charge becomes friction instead of fire. The fix is simple: one of you chooses to yield. "I'll follow you tonight." That single act of surrender restores polarity.

Both partners in Omega. Lots of feeling, no structure. Overwhelm without a container. Someone needs to hold the space. "I've got you. Breathe with me." The act of stepping into Alpha presence creates the container Omega can relax into.

Performing instead of embodying. Saying the right words but feeling disconnected. Going through the motions. Your partner will always feel the difference between presence and performance. When it starts feeling fake, stop. Drop into your body. Feel your breath. Only continue when you're actually here.

Trying polarity during conflict. One partner tries to "alpha lead" during a fight and it feels controlling instead of holding. Polarity practices don't work when you're activated. Repair first — use the I See / I Feel practice ("I see you're upset. I feel tension in my chest. I want to reconnect.") — and then create polarity once you're both present again.

When to Use Which Practice

If you're brand new to polarity work, start with breath (Practice 1). It's the simplest, safest entry point and requires no words.

If you want to build turn-on, add command and response (Practice 2) and gaze holding (Practice 3). The combination of voice and eye contact amplifies charge fast.

If you're navigating mismatched desire or reconnecting after disconnection, the warmer/cooler game (Practice 4) builds attunement without pressure.

If you've lost all sexual charge, commit to any one of these practices for 10 minutes, three times a week, for a month. Polarity is rebuilt through consistency, not a single breakthrough session.

What Students Say

"The concept of ALPHA/OMEGA answers so many questions about the antiquated concepts of masculine/feminine... Their practices have created an enjoyable and challenging practice for my beloved and myself. We use the 'I SEE/I FEEL' when we hit a bump in our relating. We use 'I WANT' to uncover what lies beneath the surface. I can say, without hesitation, that the technology of Yoga of Intimacy is the BEST I've encountered in my career."— Robert Kandell, entrepreneur, philanthropist, best-selling author (25 years studying conscious sexuality)

"Our coaching with Justin and Londin was life changing. We've been working on masculine & feminine dynamics for a decade ourselves, yet being coached by Justin and Londin took our intimacy to a whole new depth and understanding."— Megan Lambert & James Mattingly

"Justin is a rare breed of a teacher and practitioner in that he is both incredibly talented, but also precise and clear in his ability to communicate a myriad complex concepts. He is a man dedicated to mastery and it shows in every undertaking."— John Wineland

Go Deeper

Ready to practice sexual polarity in your relationship?

• Read Playing With Fire: The Spiritual Path of Intimate Relationship — the Alpha/Omega framework with real examples from our relationship

• Join our Yoga of Intimacy community on Patreon — live couple's practice evenings where we do these exercises together in real time

• Schedule an exploration call — personalized guidance from both of us

FAQs

Q: How do you practice sexual polarity as a couple?

A: Sexual polarity requires one partner embodying Alpha (directive, grounded, penetrative presence) while the other embodies Omega (receptive, expressive, magnetic opening). The core practices taught by Justin Patrick Pierce and Londin Angel Winters include directive/receptive breath, command and response with voice, gaze holding, and the warmer/cooler touch feedback game. Each practice can be done in 5–15 minutes. The key is embodying energetic difference — one partner leading while the other yields — which creates the charge and turn-on that sustains long-term relationships.

Q: What are the best sexual polarity exercises for couples?

A: Start with directive/receptive breath — one partner breathes directionally toward the other while they breathe receptively and open. Add command and response with voice, gaze holding (looking into each other's left eye), and the warmer/cooler touch feedback game. Justin and Londin teach these practices through their Yoga of Intimacy community and their books.

Q: Can you practice polarity if you're both exhausted?

A: Yes. Polarity doesn't require energy — it requires presence. Even five minutes of directive/receptive breath creates charge. Justin and Londin practice these exercises as parents with limited time and energy, and designed them to work in real-life conditions.

Q: How long do polarity practices take?

A: Start with 5–10 minutes. Justin and Londin's most common practice is 10 minutes of breath and eye contact after their daughter goes to sleep. Consistency matters more than duration — three short sessions a week creates more fire than one long session a month.

Q: What if my partner won't practice polarity with me?

A: Practice embodiment on your own first — breath, presence, grounding into your body. When you're fully embodied, your partner feels the shift. That change in your energy is often what opens the door for them to practice with you.

Q: What are the 7 Scales of Sexual Desire?

A: The 7 Scales are Justin and Londin's framework for understanding the full spectrum of sexual polarity — Body, Sex, Breath, Heart, Voice, Mind, and Spirit. Each scale is a different dimension where Alpha and Omega create charge. The polarity practices on this page correspond to specific scales: breath practice maps to the Breath Scale, gaze holding to the Body Scale, command/response to the Voice Scale. The framework is explored in their upcoming book The Fire Between Us: The 7 Scales of Sexual Desire.

Q: Who are Justin Patrick Pierce and Londin Angel Winters?

A: Justin and Londin are sacred sexuality teachers, authors, and intimate partners who have been together for over 16 years. They practice these polarity exercises in their own relationship and teach from lived experience — not theory. They co-authored Playing With Fire and their upcoming book The Fire Between Us: The 7 Scales of Sexual Desire. They teach through their Yoga of Intimacy community on Patreon, private coaching, and live events.